


It’s Going To Be Okay

by MaddieandChimney



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Trigger Warning: Miscarriage, trigger warning: domestic violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:48:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24059998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney
Summary: When Maddie tells her brother she’s pregnant, he’s reminded of the last time she had said those two words and he promises this time, he’ll do better.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 3
Kudos: 74
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales, The Buckley Siblings One Shots





	It’s Going To Be Okay

8\. Shudder

Evan smiled when his phone flashed up with his sisters name, only letting it ring once before he answered it, “Hey Mads.” Their conversations had become fewer and far between since she had gotten married to Doug, and those they did have, were getting shorter each time. She would blame work or just life getting away from her but he knew better.

There was no way his sister would ever choose to not talk to him.

He was powerless though, he lived thousands of miles away and no matter how many conversations he had with her, she was adamant that she was fine and her marriage was fine. Everything was _fine_. It usually ended in a argument and so, he had given up – if he was going to talk to his sister, he would make the most of every possible second he could. She would leave Doug one day, he just had to wait for her to come to the decision herself, and he hoped she would run to him.

“Everything okay?” He asked, picking up on the slight nerves in her voice when she said his name. Maddie had been married for eight years but he still felt shocked when she said two words. There was no excitement, no joy, she sounded numb and defeated. She was pregnant. And obviously the father was Doug, and whilst Evan didn’t know exactly what was going on, he still hated him. He hated the way he spoke to his sister, how she didn’t have any friends anymore because that was the way her husband had wanted it to be. He hated how she had cut off her family, especially him.

And now she was going to have his baby.

Hearing the news he was going to be an uncle should have made him happy, he should have been arranging a flight to Pennsylvania so he could hug her in person and talk about how he would spoil his niece or nephew. Instead, he felt an overwhelming dread and sadness because the baby would be part Doug and he’d never get the opportunity to have any happy moments with his family. “Wow… that’s… wow.”

He couldn’t think of anything else to say – if he told her he was happy for her then it would be a lie, if he told her to run as far as she could away from the absolute storm this was going to cause then she would hate him. “I thought you’d tell me it was okay.” Maddie finally settled on an answer and he took a deep breath, pinching his nose with his spare hand in an attempt to stop himself from breaking down in tears whilst they were on the phone. 

“I can’t.” He whispered, regretting it almost immediately until he was distracted by the sound of another person on the end of the phone.

“Who are you talking to?” The way he spoke to her simultaneously sent a shudder through his body whilst his hand clenched and he wished he could go there and hurt the man who thought it was okay to treat Maddie in the way he did. The way he imagined he did.

“N-no one, just… I have to go bye.” And then she was gone and Evan was reminded he was truly alone. He pulled his phone away and threw it onto the couch, finally letting the tears fall. He wanted his big sister, he wanted to keep her safe but he was helpless. 

* * *

Maddie slowly sat down on the edge of the bed when she heard the door close, he had gone to work and she was finally alone. Her hand shook as she found her brothers number on her phone, taking a deep breath as it rang. It had been only three days since she had last spoken to him, to tell him she was pregnant. She didn’t know what she wanted from him, she knew better than to think he would be happy – she had barely seen him since she had gotten married, she knew he resented both her and Doug for allowing a wall to be built between the two siblings they had promised never would. When she closed her eyes, she could see that young boy she had helped to raise, his little finger wrapped around hers as she promised him she would always be there for him. 

She had lied and she had failed him.

She took a deep breath when he answered the phone, his voice hesitant before he asked her if she was okay. She didn’t answer straight away, she didn’t know what to say, a drop of blood fell from her nose onto her lap and for a second, it was all she could focus on. She was bleeding, her husband had made her bleed. And she was still there, waiting for him to come home from work because she had nowhere else to go, no one to run to. He’d kill her… just as he had killed their baby.

A sob fell from her lips at the thought and she covered her mouth instinctively, he was out of the house but she still felt as though the sound of her crying would anger him. “I lost the baby. I just thought you should know because obviously you’d wonder where the baby was and yeah, so now you know. Don’t tell mom and dad, they didn’t even know there was a baby…” She rambled on because the silence on the other end of the phone was too much, her brother would never be happy at the thought of a life lost but she knew he would be relieved. 

A baby would have been a tie to Doug for the rest of her life and Maddie didn’t want that. She had been so careful, she had never wanted to bring a baby into the Kendall house, it wasn’t her plan or Doug’s. There was still silence on the other end, and she knew her brother didn’t know what to say, she didn’t expect him to. “I have to go, I love you Evan.”

She hung up before he could respond and stared down at her phone before she pulled his contact back up. For a moment, her finger hovered over the call button, knowing if she asked him he would come and take her away from the hell that was her life but Doug would kill him. He had promised her that when he had heard her on the phone to her brother a few days before – Evan was her final contact to the outside world, the one person who could convince Maddie to pack her bags and leave her husband. They both knew that. It was why Doug had grabbed her hair and slammed her against the kitchen counter as he scrolled through her call history.

The tears fell hard and fast, mixing with the drying blood on her cheeks before eventually, she pressed the delete button. She couldn’t talk to him anymore, she couldn’t hear the disappointment in his voice or the judgement. She knew he was ashamed of her, truthfully she was ashamed of herself for letting it get this far. It wasn’t the life she had hoped for or planned, it wasn’t the way things were meant to be but it was all she had. Doug was all she had and without her, her brother would be safe.

* * *

Buck stared at his big sister, determined to do better than he had done five years ago. He still remembered the last words she had said to him before nothing, for three years. He couldn’t pretend to understand why, he knew the reasons but he’d never fully understand exactly why his sister had let Doug win in the fight against the Buckley siblings. It was in the past, it had happened and now, he had his sister for over two years, completely by his side.

The two words had fallen from her lips again, but this time he could hear the excitement in her voice. He could see Chimney standing next to her, his hand in Maddie’s as they broke the news, a grin on the other mans face that Buck could only describe as pure happiness. He was unsure if his friend and colleague knew about the first time Maddie had said those words to her brother, if he knew she had lost a baby in circumstances Buck had let his imagination run wild with. Maddie didn’t have to tell him that it was Doug, once he had found out about how bad the abuse was, he had thought back to the call. How exhausted she had sounded, how her voice quivered, the pain in her voice that went beyond emotional pain. He could draw his own conclusions and his sister, whilst open about the abuse she had suffered at the hands of the man she had loved, would never go into detail about it. 

“It’s going to be okay.” Those were the words he finally settled on, the ones she had wanted to hear five years ago but he hadn’t been able to say. It wouldn’t have been okay then, and it wasn’t but this, this would be more than okay. She was safe and she was loved and he couldn’t have asked for anything more.

Chimney looked confused, even more so when Maddie pulled her hand from his and quickly moved to wrap her arms around her little brother the moment the tears had started to fall. Buck let a hand fall to her back, rubbing circles as pulled her close to him, his own tears falling. It should have been a happy moment, one of the happiest but the overwhelming, crushing guilt that he felt when he wasn’t able to hold her all those years ago had crept up unexpectedly.

Finally, he pulled back, the palms of his hands gently pressing against his sisters cheeks as he used his thumbs to wipe the tears away. “You are going to be a wonderful mother.” He had no doubt, even five years ago she would have been an amazing mother but now, with Chimney by her side, he knew that his sister was going to have the experience she deserved. The paramedic would dote on her and their child, Buck had no doubts that the father of his future niece or nephew was a good man, a man who deserved the devotion of his sister.

He pulled away to shake the hand of the man who had proven himself time and time again to be the kindest, most loving boyfriend he could have hoped for, for Maddie. “And you are going to be a great dad and most importantly…”

The brotherly duty was done, he had kept to his own promise that if he ever got the chance to hear the words from his sister again, he would react better and tell her what she had wanted to hear from him the first time. Now, he grinned and picked her up easily, spinning the two of them around as they both laughed, “I am going to be the most amazing uncle. Seriously,” He put his sister down, but the smile didn’t disappear from his face, “This is going to be amazing, you’re going to be amazing… we are going to be amazing!” 

Maddie giggled, and Chimney took two beers from the fridge to hand one over to the excitable firefighter, “This is the reaction I expected.” He pointed out, and Maddie knew she would have to explain to him when they were alone as she picked up on the hint from her boyfriend. Buck only shrugged, leaning up against the counter, “I can’t wait to meet him or her.” He finally settled on, excitement in his eyes as his glance settled on Maddie.

She was happy. He could see that, her hand on her stomach whilst her other arm wrapped around the waist of the man she loved. He didn’t have to worry, he didn’t have to imagine her alone in a house with a controlling man, he didn’t have to wonder when he would hear from her again.

“I love you Maddie.” 

“I love you, Evan.” There was no finality in her tone, he didn’t feel the same shudder he had when she had said those words to him over the phone. They were together and no one could build a wall between the siblings again. 


End file.
